💬 Hindsight is 20/20:  Looking Back – Looking Forward to the Future!

Raising kids close in age, juggling faith and family, and watching life come full circle.  Reflecting on our parenting journey offers invaluable insights.  This post delves into the lessons learned and the aspirations moving forward.  

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Hindsight 20/20 – Looking in My Rear-View Window

There’s a reason people space their kids out.

I had three beautiful children in four years. Two were planned. One was a sweet surprise. It meant we had kids in diapers, bottles everywhere, and playpens in every room. Then suddenly, they were all in school. Then all driving. Then dating—all at the same time.

If you’ve ever paid for three teen drivers on your insurance… you already know the kind of stress I’m talking about.

“Some days feel like you’re the headliner in a family circus—juggling laundry, deadlines, and dinner with one hand, and taking kids to school and sports practice with the other.  Add a full-time job to the mix – and it’s a wonder you can think straight – let alone take care of everything.

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A Full House and a Full Heart

When my parents moved to Tennessee with us, it was a blessing—but it added another layer of pressure. I had a lot on my plate, trying to be the glue that held it all together.  But, I was fortunate because my parents helped in so many ways.

I worked at the Christian school my kids attended to help pay their tuition. Although they eventually moved to public school, those early years laid a strong foundation.  All three of my children are believers today—and now that I see them raising their own children with the same values, I couldn’t be prouder.  They are all such good people and much better parents than we could ever be.

When they were younger, I would take them to work with me when showing property.  It must have soaked in because my daughter ended up a Realtor – and one of my sons became a mortgage broker, and the other had a house-painting business.

“If you’re looking back, make sure it’s only to learn — not to live there.”

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What I Regret

I wish I had encouraged my children more to go deeper in their faith—not just going to church, but really digging into the Word.  Learning about the mysteries, the connections, the deeper truths in scripture.  I wish I had taught them to question their teachers and pastors.  One of my sons studies with me now, and seeing his hunger for God’s Word fills me with joy. I treasure that time.

I also know I missed the mark so many times. When everything is flying at you all at once, you don’t always respond with patience. You forget things you meant to say. You say things you wish you hadn’t. You didn’t listen as closely as you should have.  I lifted my kids up many times—but I also failed them in many ways. And I would give anything to redo those mistakes.

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The Moments That Mattered

Since they were so close in age, I made a point to occasionally pull each of them out of school for the day—just for some one-on-one time. It wasn’t anything fancy. Lunch, errands, or a long drive. But those simple days stand out in my memory.

And I hope they stand out in theirs.

We also made our home the “hangout house” for their friends. We had a pool and then built a volleyball court in the backyard. I didn’t want to worry about where my kids were or who they were with—so we made it easy for them to stay close. I think we fed half the county some weekends.  I remember one time when I had just gone to “Sam’s Club” to stock up, had bought several cases of soft drinks.  I had to leave that afternoon to show property – and when I got back home – there was a crowd of teenagers in the backyard, and ALL those soft drinks were gone!   It wasn’t funny at the time – but looking back – it’s a good memory.  I remember teasing those kids to tell them to bring groceries the next time they came over.  It was a good time!

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Faith, Family, and Full Circle Moments

Having Mammaw and Pappaw nearby brought joy and a few challenges. My dad, especially, was unforgettable—he had a way of making everyone laugh. He was such a character that he unofficially became a “test” for new girlfriends. If they didn’t love Pappaw’s sense of humor, they didn’t stick around.  They all still talk and laugh about the thing he would do.

When my daughter got married, the whole family came together to build a backyard arbor for the wedding. Her husband was still in college, so we got together and remodeled a small building on our property for them to call home. Those early days, with their little boys growing up just steps away from me… what a gift.  I treasure that time beyond words.

Years later, my youngest son and his wife were house-hunting and drove past our old home. He told me he wished he could raise his kids there—just like he’d been raised. We reached out to the new owners, and to our surprise, they were willing to sell. So he bought it and raised his two children there.  They were always having cook-outs or get-togethers  with their friends.   And the legacy continued…

Talk about a full circle.

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Looking Back with Grace

Looking back, I see the mess and the beauty—side by side.

No parent gets it all right. But if there’s love, faith, and laughter… you’re doing better than you think.

If you’re in the thick of it right now—don’t wait for the perfect moment to connect. Pick the messy ones. The in-between ones. The small, ordinary, real ones.

And if you’re carrying regrets? Me too. But take heart. Our kids often remember the good more than we think they will.  Looking back is fun – but looking forward is having hope for the future.

Remember that hindsight is always 20/20.  I would love it if you contact me with your comments or experiences.